Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Pneumonia & MELT DOWNS

The road ahead is clear and I put the cruise control to 65 so I can focus on breathing and lowering my heart rate. Gazing up into my rear view mirror I see Lucas. His eyes are sunken, he is coughing consistently and shaking.

I knew this morning when Lucas woke up at 2 am coughing and coughing with a high temperature that today was going to be interesting. The again when I was painting my face I heard cough, cough, cough, cough, cough! “Mom I just threw up!” I knew we would be visiting the doctors again.

My eyes gaze back and forth from the road to the list of instructions to Children’s hospital. My mind is in survival mode. The words; just get through the next obstacle, it’s going to be okay are running loops through my mind.

After checking in, weighing Lucas again, testing his low oxygen levels again and finally getting an x-ray we are told it is in fact Pneumonia even though his lungs sounded perfect! Just 10 days previous we had the same diagnosis with Jack after which our dog ate something that got stuck in her pipe that connects her stomach to her intestines and vomited A LOT over the course of 3 days… I think February has it out to take down my family!

I find myself loading a more energized version of Lucas into the car thanks for modern medication. As we head to the pharmacist and home Lucas chats about Africa and what the weather is like there, and where do cheetahs live and what about lions and before we know it he is talking about the wholly mammoth and asking me whether I think it was bigger than the blue whale????

My heart is trying to smile because he is chatting and being more energized than he had been all day. Because he has been discharged from the hospital. Because he has medicine in him. Because we get to go home. Because, because, because. But my heart couldn’t smile yet, BECAUSE it was still trying to hold it together and my mind was trying to calm my body so I did vomit all over the car.

When life gets messy, unpredictable and stressful eventually a meltdown will happen. “Not in the car I tell myself” I am determined to stay focused and breathe.

Well we are home now.


Lucas is coughing on the couch playing on my phone (so unsanitary but he’s been hugging on me since he’s been sick so what can I do?…) and I am at my computer writing because I need to write to process my feelings, the ones that I recognize and let the ones that I don’t recognize just come to the surface and be.

I have family and friends who have prayed for Lucas, friends who have helped and one who is bringing us dinner. I feel a lot of support:) In the darker moments, I feel God’s love as I open up and ask for help and receive help when it’s offered. Heavenly Father’s love is coming to me through the vessels of others who are listening to him.

And I have to say THANK-YOU!

I have a tendency to sometimes think I am a failure because I find life hard and feel small when I compare my challenges to the challenges of others. But I am learning that life is not to be compared but rather to be lived and experienced. If MY experiences turn me to my Savior and provide me with opportunities to use His perfect atonement then I am learning and growing in Him and slowly will become more like Him.

It’s babystep...



Monday, February 27, 2017


I find myself thinking 

"I don't really have a sugar addiction" 

"I could have a piece of chocolate and I would be fine" 

"I really want a little cake because I want to give myself a little gift" 

"I can start and stop when I like"


I think this is exactly how an addition looks. 
The denial, the reasoning, the lies.

I have a sugar addiction. 
It feels GOOD to admit that:)

Yesterday night was challenging emotionally and I wanted to devour chocolate, cookies and naughty yummy stuff but I didn't-

I DIDN'T!!!!!


Now that is a success that I am going to cheer about. 
(I am jumping up and down, swinging my hips side to side and smiling ultra wide)

It's baby steps friends, tiny steps of progress moving in the right direction. Every moment I have where I triumph like this I will scream   "I did it! I did it! I put my health first!!!" And when I say health I mean physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health because all those facets benefit from that triumph and others similar to it.

Take a look at your addiction and look at it straight on and decided to do something about it and start today by making those tiny baby steps to living free of that addiction. 


Friday, February 24, 2017


(isn't this an adorable concerned look from Lucas 3 years ago.... Where has time gone???)

I am feeling stressed, which means my body is SUPER nausea's because that is what stress and anxiety do to me. DO YOU KNOW how stress and anxiety manifest themselves in your body???

If you don't, I would STRONGLY encourage you to discover their manifestations because that knowledge is crucial to processing the emotions and situations that are the root cause. 

SO BACK UP to my stress...

I was woken up by my doggie whining and crying. I went and investigated and in her cage was vomit and the runny stuff that comes out the other end- THE SMELL!!!!! gag! Dry heave, dry heave.

After an hour of taking care of her and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning I returned to bed to hear her cry some more. Anyhoo, she ended up in our room and I didn't go back to sleep until my alarm started buzzing. 

Lack of sleep is a FANTASTIC trigger for stress for moi. Plus, you add the smell of sick doggie burps and you have a nausea mess over here. 

I know I need to get out of my head and relax but sometimes that is easier said than done.

But there are some things that can help address the anxiety:

Writing my thoughts and situation is SO THERAPEUTIC. Not only does it help me discover what I am actually feeling but it literally gets those thoughts out of my head and onto paper or a computer screen. I find once those thoughts are no longer swirling around my mind I have a better chance to succeed in my next step...

a SIMPLE meditation is super helpful when I am feeling stressed. I inhale and think the words "I am" and then exhale and think the word I desire to manifest within myself "calm" "peace" "still" "kind" "grateful" etc... The longer I do this the greater the impact; 5-10 minutes is most helpful for me.

Whenever this stress has made itself present in my day if I take a moment to look at the rest of the day and the things I'm committed to and hope to accomplish things brighten up. I try to re-evaluate and choose what is most important and then write down a plan and move forward with this new focus and commitment. I find this very helpful because if my mind has been in a stressful place I start stressing about everything and my focus is none existent. If I look at my to do for that day and make sure only the essential things are on there it provides me with confidence for success.

SO GIVE THESE A TRY and I would LOVE to hear anything you do to reduce stress in the moment!!

Sunday, February 19, 2017


We are kind of some of the coolest people I know. Not to sound big headed or anything But we do some really awesome things and isn't that the way it should be?

 If we could all get totally stocked about living our own lives and loving our mini world amid this big old crazy world I think good things happen.

Anyhoo, us Carney's spent the weekend being stocked about our adventures...


Glamping it up in our trailer just outside of Salida, CO.

The stars were a.b.s.o.l.u.t.l.e.y AMAZING!!!!!
Seriously, when I look up at a night sky my mind is blown by the utter vast beauty! And beholding it with my little eyes is such a gift.

Our first day was spent skiing in the glorious mountains of Monarch Mountain. Monarch mountain is a really fun, medium sized, family friendly Ski resort just 20 mins away from Salida. The weather could not have been better. It felt more like we were spring skiing with the bright blue sky as our backdrop.

My boys are doing remarkably well skiing. They are totally holding their own and bombing down the mountains like a couple of pros! As for me, I am getting there but have to constantly remind myself to relax and not over think things. A constant challenge on and off the mountain:)

Our Second day we enjoyed a little fishing, historic downtown, exploring and the Cottonwood hot springs. The boys got to experience a sauna for the first time. They were very concerned that they might pass out or something highly dramatic would happen to them BUT fear not all Carney's are accounted for and in good health after the Sauna.

Although our tiny trip was fast it was so worth the effort. Being together in the wilderness has a remarkable effect on all of us.

Now to plan our next trip...





OUR TRAILER: isn't she a beauty??




Sunday, February 12, 2017


What would your world be like if you stopped believing all the 
"I can't" thoughts that reside in the corners or even the forefront of your mind?  

What would happen if  you  believed that you were capable 
of creating that bright idea you had the other day.

Where would you be if you actually followed 
through and did the things that you dare to dream about?

Our minds are powerful and incredible and remarkable. 
Of course they are God created them!

We learn in Moses:

For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth” (Moses 3:4–5).

If we follow this pattern Heavenly Father has demonstrated to us of creating our lives "Spiritually" first we could live more in a world of "I cans" and "I am's" rather than a world dictated by the "I can'ts" and "I'm not."

The spiritual creation of things yet to come begins with training our mind and aligning it with God's will and creating the Godlike, good, righteous ideas/dreams and ambitions that He gives us. As we see their potential and build upon them, they will begin to manifest within and around us. 

What will you start to create spiritually today?

Friday, February 10, 2017

Weight Loss: STEP 1

OK, friends I know you are just bouncing in your seat with anticipation of how to start this weight loss Christ centered journey.




Why are you finding yourself not as healthy as you could be? 
What stands in the way of greater health?
------BE SPECIFIC-----
It is not enough to casually say 

I over eat
I hate exercise
I have no energy
Nothing has worked for me before

underlying obstacle

For me, I engage in emotional eating


(you know what I am going to say)


Well, after some though and deliberation I emotional eat because I have feeling s of anxiety, inadequacy or insecurities. When these feelings seep into my being I really really really get uncomfortable and would prefer to pretend they don't exist so I EAT. 

Emotional eating does several things for me in that moment of discomfort;
First; It is a delightful distraction
Second, it numbs those feelings
Thrid, once I have over eaten I can then feel mad at myself for over 
eating that I never address the original feelings.

This becomes the cycle that will continue to (if I don't make a change) to defile my body and hurt my health. 

So, backing up

What's you obstacle????


Over and over in the scriptures we are counseled to Ask

For everyone that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened. 13 For everyone that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and unto him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

As you Ask (PRAY TO) God be 

I we ask for general guidance God will bless us with general blessing so likewise if we ask in faith with the spirit for specific blessing God will send specific blessings.

{For example}

General: Please help me stop emotional eating

Specific: Help me recognize when I am eating because of emotions. 
Help me have courage to feel the emotions and faith that they will pass.
Please send thy spirit to remind me that I am enough and worthy and capable to make the best choices for my body. 

Assignment: Recognize things you "Ask God" for that are general and then write out a more specific version.


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

A walk on a delightful day

Sometimes when your oldest son has been sick for 4 days straight you just have to leave the house and get some fresh air and bask in the rays of the winter sun.

Poor Jack. He enjoyed the SLOW walk and so did our four legged daughter; Reagan. We lost our tennis ball so she spent most of her time searching for a new tennis ball but found an animal bone instead. She was SO HAPPY! 

There is something magical about putting a smile on another face even if it is a dogs face. 


Thursday, February 2, 2017


Hello beautiful friends!

I am starting a new and exciting adventure. 

SO, I have put on a little weight because of...well... life! Life is an exciting and exhausting adventure which has given me my fair share of up's and downs. Some of the lessons I have learnt the past couple years have also added to my body mass index.

Now, I know exactly how to lose weight. I have a past of signing up for half marathons to lose weight, engaging in high intensity fitness programs and working out so hard I can't see straight. While I have received results in these methods they are not terribly lasting life styles and PLUS I just don't feel good about abusing my body for the sake of weight loss. 

SO, why is this journey DIFFERENT??????

I am going to lose weight and change my lifestyle for good by coming unto God and learning from the teachings of Jesus Christ and his prophets. 

I will study what they have to say about the human body, it's purpose and potential. I believe as I search and ponder the truths I will discover and call upon God's power to help me take care of, respect and honor my glorious body I. WILL. TRANSFORM.  My Heavenly Father will guide me and I will be successful with His help.

I just know I will be triumphant already!I am so excited to deepen my relationship with deity and ignite my bodies physical, spiritual and mental potential.

Join me in this journey! 

I will be posting video's on my Youtube Channel and update here on my blog. 
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