Friday, August 31, 2012

"You can't have it all at the same time"

Anyone that knows me well knows that I like a lot of things. I find a lot of life thrilling. I set goals and want to achieve them, I want to learn more, experience new things and I want to be more. But sometimes I have to take a step back and realize that a saying I have heard is right "I can do it all just not at the same time." There are times and seasons in life and it seems that my challenge is to determine what fits into each time and each season and to make the best choices so I can be the person that I want to be and the person I need to be.

Right now I am in the trenches of young motherhood, I have young kids that need a lot of attention and I want to give them a lot of attention. I am learning how to run a household, how to organize, how to cook, how to discipline, how to lead by example, how to be healthy, how to understand children, how to support my husband, how to continue to court my spouse and how to fit being me into all of that!

One of my greatest struggles has been embracing motherhood while keeping my best attributes alive. When I first entered the world of motherhood I felt literally like a fish out of water. I grew up with the hope that one day I would be a stay at home mother but that day came too soon. I entered the world of stay at home moms and lost myself. I felt too immature, too young, too uneducated, too scared and too lonely. It was hard. I remember days just looking around the house and thinking "no one prepared me for this!" My entire life seemed to change. Although I was still taking a couple of classes a semester my focus had shifted and I constantly felt like I didn't fit. I didn't fit in my home because I was so clueless but wanted so desperately to know how to do it perfectly and I didn't fit at school because my life had morphed into something very different to that of my colleges. In true fashion of being me I filled my life with many things that brought me joy and used them as bandages to cover up my insecurities.

Now 5 years later I am slowly (too slowly) learning that I need to address some of my insecurities and work so that they can evolve into something strong and beautiful. Right now I have decided to try to say no to the many beautiful distractions in my life I really want to spend time developing some traits that will really help me be more successful in the home because I truly believe the saying "
No Other Success Can Compensate for Failure in the Home". In the New Testament the Savior teaches the parable of the talents, those that worked hard multiplied their talents; work hard. Sometimes I feel like after a week of working really hard organizing my home or disciplining my child I should be an awesome organizer and teacher but it takes time and consistency I have to earn that. I believe that God would love to help me grow in areas of my life where I lack significant skills, gifts and talents but I must work hard and change my focus in order to gain those rewards. I must let go of some things and put them on a shelf until another season. This is so hard for me.

The other night my husband commented that we have too much clutter in our lives, clutter being commitments outside of the home. Of course in my defensive fashion I disagreed but quietly as I feel asleep I realized he was right. If we really want to work on our family we need to do it together and be here together. Too often he will arrive home and I will leave, we trade off like we are running our lap in a relay race but I want to refocus my efforts from my personal lap to our family race towards success.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Heritage Square with my boys

Jack and I had performed at Heritage square just the other Saturday but couldn't stay and play much to Jack's disapproval so we headed back the other day to have some fun. 

It was a lovely afternoon...really not even a melt down which is somewhat miraculous!


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Mega awesome adventure to Upper Russian Lake: The Beaver

Our adventure to Upper Russian Lake began with a bush plane flight in a Beaver. We discovered that there are only 900 Beaver planes left (they don't make them anymore) and our pilot had 3 of them! The plane was basically a piece of metal and looks just like it's out of the movies.

This was one of my favorite experiences. I thought I was going to be super nervous, you know need-to-visit-the-bathroom-every-5-minutes type of nervous BUT I wasn't. The entire time I was a giddy smile-as-wide-as-my-face type of girl starring out the window with wide eyes seeping everything in with the click of my camera. I honestly could fly in a plane daily, it was magnificent to be so high and exposed to everything that surrounded us.

The vastness and Majesty of everything was outstanding. God is the ultimate architect and we are so tiny in comparison to everything He has created and yet He created it all for us! AMAZING:)

Due to awesome weather we were able to fly straight over the mountains. The views were more than spectacular. See for yourself:

And that my friends was an awesome start to a spectacular adventure!
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