Thursday, October 20, 2011

A sense of humor is a mothers best friend

Motherhood can be messy, actually it is always messy, whether it's the bottoms that have to wiped, the peanut butter smeared on the coach or the newly cleaned and folded clothes that are being pounced upon by children it is messy!

I am reading a book which I recommend to all mothers "I didn't plan to be a witch" by Linda Eyre and it got me thinking about some moments that seems so hilarious now but at the time seemed so catastrophic.

When Jack was two he went through a biting stage. It was awful; I think it lasted for a year I was at my whit’s end. On day we are in the store and I am trying to get a hang of this couponing thing and Jack had decided that being in a shopping cart was basically the worst thing ever. He started screaming, I am fuming and give him the eye, and he is so smart and wants to leave so he screams louder. I gather the little patience I have left and get down to his level and say very quietly but firmly "STOP SCREAMING" his response is the grab my face pull it in to his and bite my nose. I wanted to quit my job as a mother at that moment.
Somehow I got home without crying and screaming. It is moments like these that make good stories. This is such a funny story to me and I love to tell it.

A couple months ago I am sat in church a couple rows from the front. There is a wonderful woman giving a great talk (at least I am told it was great I don't ever hear a word of talks as I am pre-occupied with keeping my kids quiet) Ben does not sit with at church as his responsibilities require him to sit on the stand. Jack really wanted a candy and I had told him he could have one when the lady was finished. Lucas was really fussy and jack being smart took advantage. He knew I wanted them to be happy and in the past have given in under pressure. He starts begging for a candy louder now with a whinny voice, Lucas is getting increasingly fussier. Now Jack is crying and I lean over and quietly but firmly tell him to stop. At this precise moment both Lucas and Jack scream. Scream! We are talking loud. Everyone's eyes are on us. I stand up Lucas arching his back in one arm and Jack's arm tightly encased by my hand and we begin the long walk from the front of the chapel to the exit.

I thought the worst was over. I was wrong. Jack was off on one screaming and wailing; he had forgotten why he was crying but boy he wasn't going to stop. In my frustration and embarrassment I told him he was not playing Mario Cart at Grandpa's (for some kids this might work but for Jack telling him the punishment when he has already begun his melt down will only have negative results I have to tell him prior to major melt down or after) it got so much worst. Kicking and screaming; the works all while I have Lucas crying my arm.

I tried to calm Jack down but I needed calming down too and I didn't want to explode at church. I decided to put him in a classroom and leave. Everyone in the hallway could hear my first born and I just wanted to cry. A sweet old missionary offered to go and talk to Jack. He walked into the room shut the door and almost immediately he stopped screaming. Seriously! Then as I waited trying my hardest not to burst into tears a man was asking me what was going on and when I told him he asked how old Jack was I said 4 and his response was "he is far too old for tantrums!" WHO ARE YOU HELPING? I thought. I know but you are not helping. 

This one took a couple weeks to find funny. More than anything it has helped me gain perspective and hopefully I will be more empathetic towards other mothers who are just trying to do their best.

Now this one was just funny. At church my responsibility is to conduct the music when we sing hymns. Who ever sits close to me gets to watch my kids as I take the stand and wave my arm in a rhythmic manner.

A dear friend was holding Lucas who had a box of tic tics in his hands. I am singing one eye on the congregation and the other eye on my kids. Lucas is playing with the Tic Tacs and then starts shaking it. He had opened it so with every shake a handful of tic tacs go flying into the air. I could barely sing, I was smiling so wide and trying my hardest to look normal and not burst out laughing.


Rebecca said...

While I know all too well that in the moment it isn't very funny...your kids produce some good stories:)

Lesley-Ann said...

Oh Jess, the tic tac made me laugh :-)

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