Saturday, October 29, 2011

A little while ago I found myself crying on the phone to an officer...

Why? I will explain why.

Here is my eye witness I sent via email to the officer excluding the ugly language:

At 9:35-9:40am today, Saturday 29th October I was at the interception of Oak St and Hampden frontage road just west of Homestead golf course. I didn't stop fully at the stop sign and cut of a man of coming from the east driving a car that looked similar to a ford explorer or trail blazer. I take full responsibility for this and am utterly ashamed of it! The car was dark brown/grey with tinted windows, the car plate was xxx xxx. The man in the car was closely tailing me and in my rear mirror I could see him yelling at me and using very offensive words. Feeling nervous I pulled into the road Newcombe the next road after Oak Street and pulled on to the side. He swerved around my car and pulled in front of me.
 
Swiftly getting out of his car he heads toward my car. I am scared and feel very threatened by this white Caucasian, wearing mostly black, with short almost shaved black hair and facial hair as he headed towards me. I lock my car and open the window an inch or so. 
 
He starts yelling almost screaming at me saying things using such awful abusive language but all I will share that is appropriate is "If I was on duty I would have to sent to Jail" he was implying he was an officer himself "Three calls that's all it will take and I can have to put in jail"  He kept swearing over and over and over. He was throwing his arms up in the air and pointing at me. He repeatedly told me that all it would take was three calls to have me send to jail.
 
While I was being verbally abused I sat as still as possible and said over and over "I am so sorry" in the calmest voice I could muster, I must have said it ten times. After about 3 -4 minuets but what felt like an hour he made his way to car while yelling at me and shaking his head. At this point I felt I should take down his car plate number which I did: xxx xxx. He did a three point turn and turned onto Hampden road and headed east. 
 
After telling Ben and breaking down in tears I felt I needed to report this behavior to an officer because if this man himself is a police man his behaviour is totally out of order and abusing his power and if he is not then WHY is he implying that he is?
 
I called and a lovely understanding officer took my information and asked me to email my eye witness to him (the above with a few changes). He then called back after 10 minutes and informs me that he spoke to the man who I had the encounter with and heard a very different story.
 
At this point it had never occurred to me that the man would lie about his behaviour. Well as far as memory goes his story was something like this:
 
I was dangerously speeding and cut him off barley missing his car. I was talking on my cell phone (I DON'T HAVE ONE!) and when we pulled over I got out of my car while still talking on my cell phone (that I DON'T have) and was fleeting between ignoring him and yelling at him while he calmly tried to explain to me the danger of my actions. Eventually, he drove away.
 
It was at this point that I started crying on the phone while the officer listened on the other end, "Are you OK?" He asked. I could barley make out words to express the horror I felt as I realized that a person could so easily ignore truth and lie so effortlessly. It is so depressing when you realize how dishonest a person can be.
 
I don't know what I expected to happen because at the end of the day this never would have occurred had I not ran a stop sign, which I vow to always stop perfectly still but the lesson I have learned is this;
 
There are not enough honest people out there. People don't think it is bad to tell a lie and once you become accustomed to telling a few little lies and is not such a big deal to tell a bigger lie and before you know it you are telling a police officer complete fiction. As hurt as I felt as I listened to lies this man had fabricated about me there was a place within me that felt strong because I know that truth will set you free. I could tell this particular story over and over and it will never change because it is the truth. I want to make sure I live every aspect of my life in this way; utter truth, utter honestly because it will set you free. The state of this man's ability to lie so well made me never want to feel comfortable with telling a lie. Lie's have no place within me.
 
A part of me feels sad for this man and others like him that have become so accustomed to living a life of dishonestly. I think I have found myself so upset over this experience because it has made it very clear how deceptive people can be and how grateful I am for the companionship of the Holy Ghost as it always distinguishes between good and evil.
 
I believe that honesty will lead you to God for God is Truth. If this world is to be home to more God like people then adopting an attitude of honesty will lead us there. The road to dishonesty is a gradual slope pledge with me to adopt an attitude of utter honestly so that we will always see clearly the line between Truth and Error.
 
 
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Saturday, October 22, 2011

Quote

To Live is so startling that there is little time for anything else

Emily Dickinson
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Friday, October 21, 2011

A typical morning

The boys have been zooming around my house lately. I have had a giggle watching them and taking photos.


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Thursday, October 20, 2011

A sense of humor is a mothers best friend

Motherhood can be messy, actually it is always messy, whether it's the bottoms that have to wiped, the peanut butter smeared on the coach or the newly cleaned and folded clothes that are being pounced upon by children it is messy!

I am reading a book which I recommend to all mothers "I didn't plan to be a witch" by Linda Eyre and it got me thinking about some moments that seems so hilarious now but at the time seemed so catastrophic.

When Jack was two he went through a biting stage. It was awful; I think it lasted for a year I was at my whit’s end. On day we are in the store and I am trying to get a hang of this couponing thing and Jack had decided that being in a shopping cart was basically the worst thing ever. He started screaming, I am fuming and give him the eye, and he is so smart and wants to leave so he screams louder. I gather the little patience I have left and get down to his level and say very quietly but firmly "STOP SCREAMING" his response is the grab my face pull it in to his and bite my nose. I wanted to quit my job as a mother at that moment.
Somehow I got home without crying and screaming. It is moments like these that make good stories. This is such a funny story to me and I love to tell it.

A couple months ago I am sat in church a couple rows from the front. There is a wonderful woman giving a great talk (at least I am told it was great I don't ever hear a word of talks as I am pre-occupied with keeping my kids quiet) Ben does not sit with at church as his responsibilities require him to sit on the stand. Jack really wanted a candy and I had told him he could have one when the lady was finished. Lucas was really fussy and jack being smart took advantage. He knew I wanted them to be happy and in the past have given in under pressure. He starts begging for a candy louder now with a whinny voice, Lucas is getting increasingly fussier. Now Jack is crying and I lean over and quietly but firmly tell him to stop. At this precise moment both Lucas and Jack scream. Scream! We are talking loud. Everyone's eyes are on us. I stand up Lucas arching his back in one arm and Jack's arm tightly encased by my hand and we begin the long walk from the front of the chapel to the exit.

I thought the worst was over. I was wrong. Jack was off on one screaming and wailing; he had forgotten why he was crying but boy he wasn't going to stop. In my frustration and embarrassment I told him he was not playing Mario Cart at Grandpa's (for some kids this might work but for Jack telling him the punishment when he has already begun his melt down will only have negative results I have to tell him prior to major melt down or after) it got so much worst. Kicking and screaming; the works all while I have Lucas crying my arm.

I tried to calm Jack down but I needed calming down too and I didn't want to explode at church. I decided to put him in a classroom and leave. Everyone in the hallway could hear my first born and I just wanted to cry. A sweet old missionary offered to go and talk to Jack. He walked into the room shut the door and almost immediately he stopped screaming. Seriously! Then as I waited trying my hardest not to burst into tears a man was asking me what was going on and when I told him he asked how old Jack was I said 4 and his response was "he is far too old for tantrums!" WHO ARE YOU HELPING? I thought. I know but you are not helping. 

This one took a couple weeks to find funny. More than anything it has helped me gain perspective and hopefully I will be more empathetic towards other mothers who are just trying to do their best.

Now this one was just funny. At church my responsibility is to conduct the music when we sing hymns. Who ever sits close to me gets to watch my kids as I take the stand and wave my arm in a rhythmic manner.

A dear friend was holding Lucas who had a box of tic tics in his hands. I am singing one eye on the congregation and the other eye on my kids. Lucas is playing with the Tic Tacs and then starts shaking it. He had opened it so with every shake a handful of tic tacs go flying into the air. I could barely sing, I was smiling so wide and trying my hardest to look normal and not burst out laughing.
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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Fun Math Game

Jack LOVES numbers!

We were deciding what to do for learning time the other day and Jack said he wanted to do something with numbers. I found a cool way to to sums.

We made little houses, but ours looked like tubes as they were made from cardboard toilet rolls. Each had a number on it. We then made people out of Popsicle sticks.The amount on the side of the house was the amount of people we put into each house. Then I wrote up a bunch of sums. If the sum was 2+4 we would find the house with 2 and the house with 4 and  pour out all the people and count them giving us the answer.

Jack loved this he did 25 sums.

He does not get his love for numbers from me, I wish I had his enthusiasm for math.  

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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

LUCAS

Lucas you are my sunshine! 
You are now 15 months old and still refuse to walk!

Seriously.

A part of me is totally OK with you not walking around smashing your head on corners of tables and door frames but there is a part of me that wonders if you EVER will walk. All I ask is that you walk before you turn 2 years old. You are heavy and yes I love the arm workout due to carrying you everywhere but I think I might pull a ligament or a muscle if you get too much bigger and need me to haul you around.

You are an excellent crawler and I am OK with putting gloves and knee pads on you and allowing you to follow me around but somehow I think that might add to you identity crisis that you are already experiencing; you think you are a dog. You are not a dog. But you do drink your milk while laying in the dog cage, the doggy dish is your favorite toy, you crawl up to Reagan growl at her, take her bone and crawl away AND your tongue is hanging out your mouth half the time. You are not a dog.


Last week you LOVED bananas! I think you ate two a day. Now you will not touch them.

 
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Monday, October 17, 2011

Caboose...

The other day I took the kids to an old caboose (train) and they had a blast playing and pretending they were the conductors of the train. Many times the caboose nearly crashed but don't worry they were super hero's too and saved it.

I absolutely LOVE watching kids play pretend, I like playing pretend with them too:)
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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Ben's mom came to visit

So awhile ago Ben's awesome mom came to visit us. She is a gem. She helped us finish off our kitchen I don't know if we would have ever finished the painting without her help - THANK YOU!!!



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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ben's Toy

A Honda Shadow




it's been in the family for a couple of months now and has been loved dearly by Ben:)
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mormons are Christians

Mormons is a nickname will you have it given the members of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints the church that I am a proud member of. I would like to take a moment to clear up a specific misconception about The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I have come across many times in my young life.

"Mormons are not Christians" - INCORRECT

First off what is a Christian? A person who believes in and tries to be like Jesus Christ. Just take a look at the name of the Church:

The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints of Latter-day Saints

The first time I can remember being confronted with this statement I was 12 or 13. In my humanities class I had written a book about Joesph Smith the modern day prophet who restored the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The teachers aid was reading through my book with me and she told me my information was incorrect. I had written in the front of the book that members of The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints are Christians. She was convinced that this was incorrect.

I testified to her that the Church that Joesph Smith restored is named The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints because Jesus Christ is the center of the religion and the people of the religion pattern their lives after the life of Jesus Christ and follow his plan of salvation and that his atonement is of great importance.

Today as an older and a littler wiser woman I again testify that Mormons or members of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints are absolutely Christians, everything they believe revolves around the life and mission of Jesus Christ the savior and redeemer of the world.

If you want to learn about this religion talk to people who fiercely live it not people from other religions.
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Monday, October 10, 2011

melt down

It was one of those mornings. Jack was oh SO dramatic, every 5 minutes he was crying or screaming over something. Lucas screamed and screamed for reasons I could not understand and I just wanted a day off but piles of laundry, shirts to be ironed that I have neglected for SO long and crumbs crusted on every surface or my house were all screaming for my attention. A day off was not an option. To make matters worse it's that time of the month for me and more emotions than I can handle are trying to surface and I haven't exercised in 4 days.

I was trying to keep things under control until Jack started crying over the camelbak (our hiking hydration system). He had got it out and played with it (not allowed) and left it around for the dog to pick up and play with leaving it broken. At this point the emotional dam within me broke. He was screaming I was yelling (not proud of that). My house was not a home filled with peace rather and home where the adversary was rampant. I am ashamed of the emotions I felt and the way that I expressed them.

Really, nothing tragic had happened but the gradual build up that had been happening over the last two weeks had filled my dam too high and because I had not taken the time to focus on my emotional needs they went wild. After my yelling episode and providing an excellent example of what not to do for my son I gathered myself and realized there was only one way to find peace.

EXERCISE.

Weird, but truly exercise is an essential key to my happiness. I told Jack he had to play in his room or in the yard but I had to be alone to work out and get rid of all my negative attitudes and emotions. He left me and I put my Insanity DVD in and worked so hard. I screamed, yelled and grunted as I attempted to run, jump, punch, do every kind of push up imaginable. At the end my muscles were shaking and I was crying. It felt so good to cleanse my body of all the negative energy I had allowed into it.

I apologized to Jack for my behavior. Really, he deserves better. Onward and Up!
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Sunday, October 9, 2011

Saturday, October 8, 2011

5 kids...

I had the opportunity to watch my dear friends 3 kids whom I happen to love. Her 3 kids plus my 2 is five.I am such a math genius. I had them for 4 nights and days; it was an experience.

I have an enormous appreciation and respect for mothers with many kids; how do you do laundry? How do you do your hair? Keep up with the mess? And the dishes? And Homework- UGH!? Wow, major eye opener. My imperfections were fully exposed. BUT on the whole it was a great experience, educational for me, an extended sleepover for Jack and great for Lucas as there was ALWAYS some one to play with him.
One of the night Ben and the kids had a major NERF gun war. It was So intense that as Ben was re-creating a moment from an action movie he ripped his pinkie toe nail off. He is THAT dedicated to bringing action to life.

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Friday, October 7, 2011

Realize that you are beautiful

It amazes me at how many healthy beautiful people have such low self esteem. WHY? I think there are a couple of reasons;


  • They compare themselves to other people or themselves at a different stage of life. Nothing good can come from comparing. All it does is directs ones focus off themselves and where they are headed and makes them dwell on negative things. Once you start to compare yourself you enter the world of "I want" or "I wish" or "If only". In other words you stop being present and hang out in this limbo land that never progresses forward. So what you gained weight. There is nothing shameful in a weight gain, life happens and beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. 
  • They are so focused on their flaws that their strengths are invisible to their eyes. Everyone has beautiful parts and parts that they would rather hide and pretend don't exist. I don't like my legs never have and probably never will but dwelling on my pear shaped lower half is not going to change anything for good but it WILL dampen my attitude. Instead of looking in the mirror at all your flaws look to find what you love and celebrate it. Or stop looking in the mirror all together and you may begin to think differently about your body.
  • The body is just a shell; a glorious and miraculous one but still it is a shell in which your amazing spirit dwells. The most beautiful people I know literally radiate. It is not their perfect make-up, their enormous and colorful eyes, tiny waist, glossy hair or long legs that make them radiant. They are radiant because they love life and live it fully. They are grounded and strong individuals. They do not let small imperfections get in the way of living. They are confident because they celebrate the goodness that they have. Take your focus off the imperfections of your shell and allow everything wonderful you have to offer shine and you will be amazed at how your internal perspective changes.
My challenge to you is to stop gawping and singling out your imperfections and celebrate what an amazing person you are and recognize that you have so many beautiful qualities AND there is someone who wishes that they looked just like you.
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Thursday, October 6, 2011

Listen to a prophet's voice

I believe that there is a prophet on earth today that talks with God. I believe the counsel given by the prophet is from God and will bring security, comfort and joy to those who follow it.

This is our Latter-day prophet and I promise you if you listen to his words and really desire to know if they are true through prayer you will receive answers.

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The park

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The black widow

Ben is rushing as always to get out the door. He doesn't have time for cereal so to the bread bin to grab a piece of bread. In the corner of his eye he see something move. Pulls his hand away...

Upstairs I am helping Lucas and all of a sudden I hear a girlie high pitched squeal coming from Ben, I think "it must be spider related."

Down I go to find that it was a spider, it IS a spider a BLACK WIDOW. I am OK with spiders but one that could kill I am not OK with. We secure the spider in a glass jar and begin the suffocation process. Days went by and still the little widow was crawling around. Almost a week had passed and I couldn't bear to know that it was still alive so extreme measures were taken. She is dead and we can all breathe now.
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Cowboy day round 2

It was the much anticipated cowboy day again for the pre-schoolers.

Cowboy boots - CHECK
Jeans - CHECK
Neck "thing" - CHECK
Shirt - CHECK
Combed hair - CHECK (according to the boys Cowboys comb their hair and spray it)

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The zoo

It was chilly and quiet. I loved it. Jack had a melt down over skittles. Jack and Dallin fed birdies, Lucas watched in awe. By the end my legs were tired and everyone fell asleep in the car.
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