Tuesday, January 13, 2009

UP's and Down's

I write this not for sympathy but so that I have proof of Jack's difficulty as a child, to prevent me from cultivating a mind set in later years that many people develop, my parents included, that he never threw a tantrum, never acted up and always did as he was told.

Today had a few spectacular moments-
Watching Jack tumble around in the snow in all his snow gear, he looked like the kid from "A Christmas Story."
We did yoga together. Jack really copied what I was doing for an entire minute- that's impressive.
At moments he was so utterly polite and sweet it makes it impossible to stay upset.
He led me to his bed and said "seep, pees mummy" interpreted "sleep please mummy."

Suffocating the spectacular moments was anything and everything but spectacular. Jack has been doing so well with listening and refraining from hitting and toady he decided to take a vacation from these new years resolutions and attempted to hit every child at the library. If that wasn't bad enough he ran and sat on top of a little Innocent girl at story time, she cried, he laughed and as for me with all the eyes of terrified mothers staring I choose not to follow the impulse to cry. As a result we left early due to the metamorphosis of Jack into evil child and he screamed the entire trip home.

Parenthood is the greatest and worst experience ever. Sometimes I sit and dream of being a career woman but I know that there is no job that would stretch and test me as much as what I am doing within my home. Even though I dislike days like today I know that God will not give me more than I can handle and that he is there willing to help me grow and all I need do is ask. I think of Adam and Eve if they would not have partaken of the forbidden fruit they would never have experienced sorrow and without sorrow they never would have appreciated joy. Having Ben away has been challenging but it has deepened my appreciation for him and the support that he is to me. I love you babe. 

Now that I have released all my anxiety I feel much better and will drift over to my bath tub fill it with hot water and bubbles and spend some alone time with my delightful novel. In other words I will be completely unproductive for the next hour...

The Jack Attack...

I don't know how I let myself get so worked up over the greatest gift; the gift of motherhood.


Michelle said...

A great post! I feel ya, like right now I just want a moment to veg after a crazy morning and I have my boys behind me on the guest bed fighting, the dog at my feet whining and my lunch sitting next to me getting cold. What I wouldn't give for a nice long hot bath right now. But then the split second of Rex leading Sam out of the room to teach him how to build a fort, makes it all worth it. I'll enjoy because less than a minute later, the fighting has resumed.

Michelle said...

BTW, Sam sees the picture of you and Jack and says he wants to go to your house!

Jessarella said...

It seems Jack and Jax are one in the same. They must be cousins:)
I think you are a terrific mom and I strive to have the patience you have and to teach my kids as well as you teach Jack. You are an amazing mom and it shows. Don't you day dream about nap time. I find myself sitting in a messy house filled with clutter of toys thinking how much longer till I can put you two down for a NAP! But, I can't help but love them to pieces.

Amber and fam said...

I admire your faith and optimism, even in the middle of it. When I go through it I just want to give up and give in. You're a very good example to me!

Lesley-Ann said...

Love the photo's, he is such a cheeky chops as they say. Well you had nearly 2 good weeks and so Jack just needed to remind you what he can be like, as you said so you don't forget ;-)

Katie said...

What an ispiring mother you are Jess. You say it just like every mother feels it. Motherhood is the best and the worst and we dream of other things, but in reality none of us could imagine anything than being with our sweet children and rearing them in love and righteousness. I love reading your blog and being renewed. Thanks so much.

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