Friday, June 21, 2013

Girls night out

Sometimes a girls night is the best medication for a happy disposition.
 I have a friend who is heaven sent. 

I adore her.

 When I am around her I am uplifted, I am loved, I am happy, I am real.

 We just wandered around downtown Denver, watched a magic show, homeless people, art, we were expressive, found a giant nose on the side of a building, walked and walked and walked and ate lots of chocolate desert! 

It was so nice to just "be" for an evening. 
We didn't have to worry about loosing a child, we didn't have to test our patience by handeling tantrums, we didn't have to change a diaper or take frequent bathroom stops or teach manners and sharing. 

For the evening we just relaxed, re-charged and renewed our spirits so that the next day we could return and be AWESOME moms!

Why is it so hard for me to do this more often?!




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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Who needs gel when you have toothpaste!

My Lucas is my sweet little boy who likes to sneak off and put stuff in his hair. Lucas does not need gel to tame his locks. He preferes toothpaste or windex or handlotion. 

This morning Lucas and I had a bath together and washed our bodies and hair. We hopped out of the bath and dried off, got dressed and did our hair. After I had attempted to do his hair Lucas snuck back up stairs to do it his way. Todays hair product choice was tooth paste! He comes down and enters the kitchen nonchalantly. I see a giant glob of tooth paste on the side of his head. "Did you put tooth paste in your hair?" "NO!" He bolts in the opposite direction.

I chuckle to myself and chase after him to smooth out the glob of tooth paste before he wipes it on my furniture. 

Oh every day is indeed a circus!!!
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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I have a condition...

called "I am addicted to being busy!"

For as long as I can remember I have always been bouncing from one thing to another forever willing to add one more thing to my schedule. I thrive from the energy of projects and people. I am an extrovert! This is an important part of my being and a truly wonderful part of my personality but it can be over whelming.

Lately, I have felt claustrophobic by all my commitments as most of the deadlines happen to be the same week/month/two months.  My busy schedule is no longer energizing me, it has trapped me. As I have pondered what I could have done differently I have learnt a lot.

Planning is essential for a person who is addicted to being busy. Planning can eliminate double booking and help determine if there is space to add more.

Choose wisely what interests, projects and commitments I will allow. I am trying to honor my journey in life; my wonderful gifts and interests but I need to focus on what will serve me most right now. What will nourish me and help me progress forward in life.  Just because it is not serving me now doesn't mean it will never again serve me.

Pin point core commitments; mine are being a wife and mother, homemaker and business owner. I need to calculate if I can fit other commitments in. If I can, realistically how much time can I commit to it? If I can't because I wont have the time to do a good job then it is OK to say no. Regardless, of what I add to my life there will be seasons. Sometimes I will be able to balance many balls and other times I will only be able to juggle my core commitments. It is important for me to accept this principle and embrace it.

Comparing is the worst possible action. It will never help. PERIOD. I need to be focused on my life, my journey and the most important people and responsibilities with in it. I am unique so why assume my life should look someone else's life!

Live for me and not the praise of others. I am not going to lie, I get a kick out of compliments such as "I don't know how you do it all!" or "I could never do all that you do." It is a little humiliating to admit this but essential if change is the goal. The fact is it is pointless appearing to be juggling all the balls when in reality when no on is looking I am dropping the balls all over the place or that the most important balls are left out of the equation. If I want to feel fulfilled in my life than I need to live for me and those closest to me.

I want to be less concerned about the appearance of perfection and more focused on pursuing happiness.

To me a balanced life is one where you are in control and not being trapped by the commitments in your life. Having a balanced life is taking charge, being aware and directing the movement of your life. A balanced life is when we pause to acknowledge the changes and respond accordingly.


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Thursday, June 13, 2013

For Jack: Doing hard things...

It's 8:40 am and I ask again, "Jack, you need to turn that off and get in your swimming trunks." Reluctantly you go to get changed. Suddenly your asthma starts acting up dramatically. Coughing hard enough to throw up a lung you declare you are too ill to swim. I breathe deeply as I know it will be another struggle to get you in the water. "OK sweetie if your too ill we can just watch and then you will need to spend the rest of the day in bed resting." You shoot me a glare as you had planned on playing with Lizzy later... "well, I might be OK to swim..."

We arrive at the pool 5 minutes late. You are walking slower than a snail. Your mind is searching for a way out. You start to cry. I hold you and tell you I am so proud of you for doing hard things! Your are not thrilled.  "Its OK to be scared for 5 seconds but then you need to be brave" I say.

You are determined to never swim in the deep water again "that sucks sweetie because if you don't finish your swim lessons then we can't go to Jump Street this weekend, bummer... If that's what you choose..." You LOVE Jump Street and with tears in your eyes you get in.

Lucas and I go for a walk. My heart is too weak to hear the sobbing, to see your scared body shiver and call for me. I sit far away watching though the trees with tears in my own eyes as I see you face your fears and try. Why am I putting you through this? I could just pull you out and save you. But without the skills of swimming you will be confined to shallow water always. If only you could understand the possibilities when you can swim.

It is times like these that I get a glimpse of what it is like for our Heavenly parents. They want us to do hard things because it makes us grow. I am certain they cry along with us when we struggle just the way I cried as I watched you try to swim. I love you more than words can express. I know you can do hard things.






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